30 Jun 2025

The Problem With Playing Emotions By Loren E. Chadima

Intentional Acting

What makes us want to watch Mission Impossible over and over again? (BTW there are eight of them) Or Fast & Furious—what, eleven and counting? Whether it’s a blockbuster action franchise, a swoon-worthy rom-com, a chilling horror flick, or an epic historical drama, the reason we keep watching is the same:

These stories create an experience.

And we, the audience, live in that experience—whether it’s in a dark movie theater or curled up on our couch. We lose ourselves in it. We forget where we are.

I remember studying in Italy and going to see Back to the Future. For two hours, I wasn’t in Florence—I was home, in America. Until I walked into the lobby, heard Italian, saw the espresso bar, and looked out at centuries-old stone streets. The movie had transported me.

That’s the magic of acting. It’s not about “pretending” to be someone else. It’s about experiencing life through someone else’s eyes.

Why Do Audiences (and Casting!) Love Experiences?

Think about it: we pay for experiences all the time—Barbie pop-ups, meet-and-greets with celebs, cruises with your favorite band. Even Airbnb and credit cards now sell “experiences,” not just products.

The same is true in casting.

When casting directors watch a self-tape or audition and feel like they’re inside the story, what do they do?

They cast the actor.

Take Rachel McAdams in her audition for The Notebook. Or Dacre Montgomery’s self-tape for Stranger Things. Those scenes are still being passed around and studied years later—not because the actors played an emotion—but because they fully lived in the moment.

Rachel wasn’t “playing sad.” She was struggling to tell the man she loves that she’s engaged to someone else. She laughed, cried, fought - all organically. She wasn’t acting emotions—she was living an experience.

Same with Dacre. He blasted ‘80s music, danced, and played “chicken” driving a car full-speed, head-on toward another. There was no set, no steering wheel, no props—just Dacre’s imagination, so vivid and specific, that we saw the car, felt the risk, and held our breath.

Stanislavsky’s Original (and Forgotten) Lesson

Stanislavsky—the Godfather of modern acting—originally called his method “Emotional Memory.” But here’s the twist: he later renamed it “Physical Action.”

Why the switch?

Because he realized (as I have) that acting is not about “producing emotions.” It’s about doing something. And through that doing, feelings naturally arise.

Unfortunately, the word “emotion” stuck. And for over a century, actors have felt enormous pressure to “feel something” in every scene. But here’s the truth: Playing emotions doesn’t work. Creating an experience does.

What Happens When You Chase Emotions?

When actors are told to “feel something,” what usually happens is:

They try to force tears or anger.
They panic when nothing comes.
They lose confidence.
They take more classes, switch coaches, or worse… they quit.

I’ve seen it all. And I’ve been there, too. But over years of working as an actor, director, and teacher, I discovered something game-changing:

Emotions are a by-product of living in the scene.

In other words: focus on creating the experience, and the emotions will come—authentically, uniquely, and sometimes unexpectedly.

Acting Is Experiencing (Not Manufacturing)

As a director, I remember struggling with a cast whose performances were falling flat just before opening. My teacher said something radical:

“Actors are not emotional manufacturers.”

She was right. I was over-rehearsing them, expecting them to deliver emotional fireworks on command. But when I pulled back and gave them a break from rehearsing (what she called “fallow time”), their live performances were alive, vulnerable, and emotionally available. And the show was a hit!

When I started doing the same on set—helping actors create vivid experiences instead of trying to direct them into feeling something—everything changed. Scenes clicked. Performances landed. The actors felt empowered. And the crew was happy because they got to go home on time.

Why Creating the Experience Always Wins

Think back to your best moments as an actor. Were you worried about “looking sad” or “crying on cue”? Or were you in the moment—feeling your environment, your relationships, the stakes, the words, the space, the silence?

When I’ve fully lived in a scene, I’ve felt transported. The relationship felt real. The setting felt real. I forgot anyone was watching. I was just there.

When I watch students reach that same state, “The Zone”, I ask: “Did you forget we were watching you?” Their answer is always, “Yes.”

The Takeaway: Don’t Play the Emotion. Live the Experience.

Whether you’re auditioning on tape, rehearsing on stage, or performing on set, remember:

Casting wants to be the one to feel something–because they are watching you have an experience.
Your job is not to produce that feeling—but to live in the scene and experience it.
Emotions are the result—not the cause.

This is the art of experiencing. And when you experience the scene authentically, the audience (and casting) will just want more and follow you anywhere.

Stop trying to cry.

Stop trying to feel.

Start experiencing the scene.

Written by Loren E. Chadima

IntentionalActing.com

Award-winning Filmmaker, Acting Coach and Actor.

Author of the upcoming book: STOP MEMORIZING YOUR LINES Be Undeniable and Ready for “Action!”

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